I've decided that there are three groups of people on the road. I thought about this when I was on my way home from work last night. It had been snowing almost all day and the roads weren't all that great. Not really bad, but not great either. But there I was, in my car, and talking to all these idiots on the road around me. Hello people...you live in Michigan. It's winter. It's snow. Deal. So...which Group are you in?
Group One are the idiots in their big trucks and SUV's that think that they are bigger (and more expensive) and therefore have the right to run up your ass, cut you off, and go way too fast because they think they're invincible. Note to these folks with their four wheel drives: IT DOESN'T WORK ON ICE! I'll see you in the ditch up ahead where you landed after running up my ass. I moved over when it was safe so you could speed by and end up in that ditch. And now I'm laughing at you. In my relatively inexpensive car.
Group Two folks are those that feel they are better drivers than everyone else. Please note that Group One and Group Two often overlap. Group Two includes the folks that go too slow (because they are being UBER careful) and therefore create a hazard. Group Two also includes the aforementioned folks that crawl up your ass thinking that if they do, you'll go faster. Group Two are the folks that feel they are so important and where they're going is more important than where you are going. Therefore, we should all get out of their way. They feel so self-important that they truly believe the space I left between me and the car in front of me is for them to dart into in their attempt to switch to a lane that is moving faster than the one they are in.
Groups One and Two also include the idiots on their cell phone talking or texting. They speed up, they slow down, they don't use turn signals because they are only driving one-handed. They weave into your lane. These Groups also include the folks that are eating, doing personal grooming, etc.
Group three is where I fit. We adjust our speed to the conditions - not too fast, not too slow. We allow space between us and the car in front so that if they have to stop quickly (probably someone from Group One or Two has just cut in front of them) we won't be slamming into their rear ends. We in Group Three don't tailgate. We don't text while driving. We use hands-free devices. We use our turn signals to signal our intentions because we all know that turn signals are not optional equipment on a car. Oh, and by the way? It's the law.
And do you know how you can tell someone from Group Three? We're the ones talking to ourselves. We're the ones shaking our heads over the behaviour of Groups One and Two. We're the ones that can't wait to get home and off the road.
Nuff said...
